Monday, June 29, 2009

Prison dads, face punching, and why it's hard to be a girl

Let me give you the "pre" story to the story. This year was my babies first year of kindergarten. We were somewhat trepidatious about this, as we were wondering if it would be easy for her to make friends and how that process would go. Soon after school started, the following conversation ensued:
Grace: Mom, Tiffany is my best friend.
Me: That’s nice
Grace: Her dad is in prison
Me: *chokes on tea* Really? Did she tell you that?
Grace: Ya, she told me. That's why she lives with her Aunt. Her dad stole a bunch of stuff and now he is in prison in California.
Me: Wow, sounds like her dad made some really bad choices. Stealing is never a good choice.
Grace: Nope. Oooo. Wonder Pets is On!
Fast forward to later on in the school year.
I walk into the house at about 6:30 because of an emergency at work and a sick husband who begged me to stop by Sonic for dinner. Trev is lying on the couch lamenting about how he thinks he feels feverish and might have the flu. Oh! The drama. My children are fortunately engrossed in Noggin (best invention ever) instead of destroying my home. I ask Emma how her day at preschool was. She starts to cry. Gracie goes to the bathroom. I ask Emma what happened today.
Emma: "Daniel* says my dress is yucky and that I am yucky"
Me: Did you tell Daniel that wasn't nice and not to talk to you like that?
Emma: Ya, I told him HE was yucky then.
Me: Well, we don't tell people they are yucky. I want you to tell Daniel it isn't very nice to talk to people like that and that he is mean.
Trevor: Daniel is an idiot. You are beautiful.
Grace comes out of the bathroom and I, trying to be ever positive, say "Grace! How was your day today baby!"
Grace: Terrible
Me: Oh my goodness, why?
Grace: At recess I tried to play with my friends and Tiffany got them in a circle and said "we don't want you to play with us"
Me: Wow. It sounds like Tiffany wasn't very nice to you. Real best friends wouldn't do something so mean. What did you do?
Grace: Cried
Me: Next time you tell her that's fine, you will play with somebody else. And then you go find somebody nice to play with. Can you do that? I know that's hard.
Grace: Why would she do that? I thought she was my best friend?
Me: Well, sometimes people make bad choices and they aren't nice. I hope you would never treat anybody like that.
Trevor: I hate girls.
After they went to bed Trev and I decided that:
A. Daniel is lucky Emma did not punch him in the face, because she has the tendency to do that when upset.
B. We think Tiffany sucks. But how do you tell your 6 year old that their best friend will probably have 3 kids from 4 different dads and be doing private dancing jobs at the Clowns Den in 12 years so not to worry about it cause she's a loser? Ah well, she will learn soon enough I am sure. Like, about the time her 10 year high school reunion comes around. That's not in too long, is it?
* All names have been changed to protect the innocent, people in prison, their children, people who might end up in prison or people who might end up working at the Clowns Den as a "dancer"


  1. Oh the Drama of school. Words of advice to Gracie....the best word to respond back with is "so" and for Emma kick Daniel in the balls, it will be the last time he calls that sweetie yucky. Oh and Trev.. you do not because you have 3 of the best girlies in the world. I have the other 3.
    Lub you!