Friday, June 12, 2009

Oops! I crapped my pants!

I am fat. I want to be skinny. On the other hand, I do not want to poop my pants. That is why I will not be purchasing the weight loss drug ALLI. Here is a quote from an MSNBC article on ALLI :

"(I)’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user. " which can be found at :

There is also a list of side effects on ALLI's website. These include:
* You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work
* You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens

OK, how about eating healthy and exercising as opposed to pooping your pants. I'm all for losing weight, and I know that eating healthy and exercising are hard (this is why I am still fat), but let me tell you I would rather not poop my pants. It's bad enough to be overweight. Let alone to be an overweight pants pooper.


  1. I about crapped my pants laughing so hard while reading this. :-)

  2. This is hysterical. I joined the gym on May 30th and love it.

    Get some me time by joining the gym and just go get on a treadmill. Make yourself do it even when you don't want to. You'll love yourself afterwards.

    I am down 5 pounds Em. If I can do it YOU can. Love you

  3. This reminds me of Scientology because the people who came up with it, must have been laughing their asses off thinking "No one will ever buy into this shit. We can get the FDA to approve something over the counter that makes people who want to lose weight have explosive diarrhea!" And then it became immensely popular, and people are willing to risk public diarrhea to lose weight or believe in a theology that boils down to aliens with a pyramid scheme. Not that believing in zombie Jesus is so much more sensible, but the guy that invented Alli probably still hasn't stopped lauging.

  4. how awesome! what a crazy side effect!

  5. Remember Xenical? This is the over the counter version. The side effect of that drug is "gas with an oily discharge." Yeah, I would rather be fat.

    BTW, apparently that happens when you eat fatty foods while on the drug. Supposedly, if you eat healthy, you don't shit yourself.