Lack of insight into your own douchebaggery OR why people can't seem to understand they are asshats.

You know, I have been pondering this and the meaning of life for some time now. What does it all mean, Basil? Well, I wish I had answers. What I do know, is that it seems like there are a large handful of douchebags out there that just do NOT know the vast depth of their own douchy-ness, if you will. Now, for today's purposes we are going to focus purely on the internet debauchery that is running rampant. However, feel free to apply these concepts to real life as you see fit. So, take the one upper, internet style. You put something in your Facebook status. They inevitably have to one up you. Every.Single.Time. What about this exchange? Zombie skunks Facebook status: "I had a terrible day, everything went wrong" and inevitably there is this idiocy: Reply from Douchey Mcdoucherton to Zombie Skunk: "Today I had the best day ever! I won the lottery, cleaned my house, screwed my husband and baked a cake. Sorry your day sucked!" WTF???? Seriously? *sigh*
Now we move on to an entirely different category of douchnozzles, the "arguers". You put something in your status and they have to argue with you. Why? Because Facebook is a debate forum? Because you are going to change somebodies political ideology over a status report on a social networking site? Yes, yesterday Douchey Mcdoucherton didn't like my status update on universal health care and said so. Consequently, I changed my political party to Republican. NOT.
Equally annoying are the people who never seem to access the social networking site you are on....not for 3 or 4 months (or they do but can't seem to find the time to interact with YOU)and then BAM! They appear out of nowhere only to post a snotty comment or two on something. Yes, Douchey McDoucherton, my daughter started first grade this year. I got a new job after 8 years and my father in law has a terminal illness. Thanks for not acknowledging those things but then swooping in to plant that snide comment on my link. *eye roll*
Will they ever get it? Will they ever have insight into the error of their ways? Probably not. Fortunately, it's the internet and the "remove" and "ignore" buttons will be getting a lot of play this week. If you are applying this to real life....good luck to you. I hope you live in a rural area.
FYI, it's 42 (the answer. just in case anyone was wondering)

Mr. Mantis aka "Mr. will eat your face off"

So, my kids found Mr. Mantis at my sister's, hanging out on her patio. He stayed relatively in the same spot all weekend and sometimes when we would watch him...he would fall over. I think either this was the greatest defense mechanism of all time or he had a traumatic brain injury and was severely disabled. At any rate, when he noticed you were there, he would rear back and waggle his feet at you. Then he would turn his head back and forth, kind of like that scary creature in the movie Alien before it ate somebodies face off. I am pretty sure if you fell asleep on the patio you would have woken up to this dude eating your face off. I am also pretty sure that my kids wanted him for a pet. Fortunately, animals like Mr. Mantis belong outside....patiently waiting to eat my sister or brother in laws faces off. Sleep well Katie and Dennis!

Trip to Boise.....The Rematch

This is what happens when you take your military, ex-law enforcement, semi-redneck husband to a fancy hotel.


On the other hand, we did go to a fondue restaurant downtown. Children were spared. He was, however, forced to use pink fondue stickers. Hey, if it involves cheese he probably would have donned a tutu if it was required.

Are appendages really that necessary?

I would seriously consider cutting off a finger or toe in exchange for going to see bad religion live. Also, for a millions dollars I would definitely cut off something. Most likely my pinky (who really needs those anyway?)even more likely than that, a pinky toe. I have broken both my pinky toes several times and I am certain they don't bend or serve any useful purpose at this point however a million dollars or bad religion would. Now that I am thinking about it, I would probably cut off a toe for 50K. True story.

Trip to Boise=EPIC FAIL...or maybe not? Wait......yes. Squiggy declares it is so.

Ahhh. Waiting in the airport for flights that have been canceled and/0r delayed depending on which day we are talking about, re-routed to the tune of approx 1 million dollars, screaming hungry children that want snacks which now can only be paid for with credit cards (not the actual cash in my hand), more children waiting in airports, Squiggy (yes, squiggy) holding down the fort-aka-airport lounge chair and a burrito which was paid for with cash money. Our only sustenance so it turned out to be quite tasty. I would say that we are lucky we didn't end up in the "cavity search" TSA section of Denver International. BONUS!

Flowers that I did not kill

I have a semi brown thumb. Lets call it a beige thumb, or maybe a tan thumb. Either way, I should look into Xeriscaping. However, I have managed to keep alive several plants this year. Mom, it's not the hydrangea, and speaking of which, if you come over--don't look. Seriously. Don't.

Well, apparently, only dead crusty worms are on the radar. She certainly didn't have any problem with her dad stringing this worm up so she could catch a fish!